August is another one of those fun “transition” months. Truth be told, this entire year is one transition after another.
New country. New identity, in a way. New customs. New surroundings. New people. New disasters. New apartments. New commute, or perhaps an actual commute involving vehicles instead of a flight of stairs. New office environment, or an actual office environment instead of the study or family room. New coworkers. New office space. New activities. New. New. New.
New, then, is a three letter word for Change.
So, back to August. Big family celebration month. Wedding anniversary. Sister-in-law’s birthday. Niece’s birthday. My birthday. And I won’t be home for any of them.
The easy thing is to ruminate on how depressing that is. Having been home for such events since college, it’s a shock to the system to not be home. And the distance between Vancouver and Chicago does not make a weekend trip feasible, on any level. I won’t be there to look after my nephews and niece so my brother and his wife can go out to dinner to celebrate their anniversary. I won’t be there to sing “Happy Birthday” and blow out the candles. No one will be there to sing “Happy Birthday” to me while I blow out the candles.
Depressing. And it magnifies, again, all that I left behind. Those are deep, rooted relationships. Strong relationships. When things supremely suck, they hold me up. That does not exist out here. And though I know when things suck here, they still hold me up, it’s not quite the same as a local network.
I can tell this month is getting me down. It’s manifesting itself, has been already. That whole “one step forward, two steps back” mantra comes to mind. I’m aware of what I’m doing, I’m aware of what is driving it so now I have to take that step forward and redirect. The easy thing to do is ruminate on how depressing it is.
So my original idea was to fly up to Powell River for a week, stay through my birthday and then come back. There’s an office up there so I’d spend the week working out of it, then kick back the weekend of my birthday, celebrate it with a couple of friends and beautiful surroundings before returning and perhaps catching a last Canadians game, then preparing to go on another river rafting trip.
There’s been a kink in that plan: WE MADE THE PLAYOFFS!
Yep. The softball team I’m on made the playoffs. Literally by the skin of our teeth. We’re the 8th, and last, seed. But who cares?! It’s the playoffs. We’re in.
Single elimination, and we’re playing the number one seed on Wednesday. The odds aren’t in our favor, but, well, one never knows, as this whole year can attest. We win Wednesday, we advance and play again next week. And I also learned that the league has a big BBQ and awards banquet when the season ends, and that event takes place on the day before.
Perhaps this is Fate gently pushing the step forward, and suggesting staying put for my birthday. The banquet would be an opportunity to hang out with other people with whom I share something in common: softball.