Having a Bad Day

So, I’m having kind of a bad day.

It started waking up, again at 3:30am. I don’t know why, it just keeps happening. I thought my trek out to SMCYVR would have helped but apparently not. Guess I need to brave the ice and go running. Tried a short jog on the way home last night, in my hiking boots, and it wasn’t too bad. A lot better than walking to the bus stop this morning in regular shoes!

Anyway, I managed to fall back asleep and wake up again at 6:30. Not so bad, except it was really hard to get out of bed. I had no motivation. I just wanted to stay curled up under the covers and go back to sleep. And if I were still working from home back in the States, I would’ve done just that. Alas, must go to work. See it as an obligation now, really, to show up in the office every day. That’s been a harder adjustment than I expected. Feels quite constraining, actually. Like being boxed in. I don’t know if that’s really the case, or just part of the adjustment process to being a “regular worker” again.

My laptop decided to freeze this morning. Actually, a few programs decided to freeze, causing my laptop to freeze. A restart was necessary. So while it was doing that I got ready for the day. Dressed in a few layers and went to the office. Plug in and am all set to start the day when FireFox decides it doesn’t want to work. It freezes and crashes. I clear caches, in FireFox and Chrome, as Chrome was having a fit as well. Chrome agrees that’s good and works. FireFox, not so much. So I have to trash and re-install. Again. This is the eighth time FireFox has required an uninstall and re-install. Super annoying, and yes, it is the latest version.

Needless to say, that didn’t help my mood at all.

I don’t know what it is today. Just a bit down. Thinking of home. Not completely unexpected. I knew there would be days like this, “days like this my Mama said.” Probably a combination of it being Thursday, the day before Family Pizza Night, going to SMCYVR last night and remembering SMCCHICAGO, the animal hats. Dah.

I just keep trying to move forward, plug away. Hope it passes soon. But, alas, nothing ever passes as quickly as I want it to, which is frustrating and doesn’t help matters.

At least I got out though. At least I went out last night and met knew people. That’s big for me. Sounds strange, I’m sure. But that’s a big step for me. So maybe I’m a bit down today as kind of a balance or something to yesterday. Hard to say really. But I am proud of myself for going out. Totally new area, new bar, new people, new group. Whole lot of newness for me in a short time frame.

But I did it.

That’s kind of scary. I don’t know how to explain it, but it kind of makes me nervous when I accomplish something I set out to do. Getting here, for example. I tend to think it’s just not the kind of thing that happens to me. And given the past three…four years now, well, that’s just how it’s been.

Enough whining. Apparently a necessary evil for now, but as Tim Baran says: “Blogging is good, cheap therapy.”