I’ve been a bit emotional since I got back, and it’s been bothering me. It’s nice yet depressing to be back.
Why?
Because it’s hard leaving a place where you are loved, appreciated and missed to return to a place where you are not. Or not yet, anyway.
For example, when I arrived at O’Hare my Mom was already there, waiting for me at the baggage carousel. Friends wanted to meetup that night. Next day was Family Pizza Night. My nephews and niece, and my brother and sister-in-law were so happy to see me. Saturday I met cousins in the city for Chicago deep dish pizza. And the rest of vacation was spent with family.
In April, when I finally finished moving, I had similar feelings. I realized all that I had left behind, and for what? An opportunity to move West. But it was really painful, initially. And my rocky transition has been covered enough in previous posts. Moving countries is hard on your own, so if you do it, prepare for what you know, and learn to roll with the unexpected. You’ll feel like all you do is roll for awhile but eventually things settle down.
This time, after this trip home, is still hard, but not as hard. It still sucks going from a place of such warmth, love and appreciation to place where there is none. But this time there have been distractions, or ways to ease some of that sadness.
I have a couple of good friends now, and we went to dinner Monday. Then yesterday I had a softball game. While offensively I was unproductive, defensively I did well and contributed.
Softball has been something to look forward to. It’s made the summer enjoyable. And basketball will be starting again soon, which should make the fall enjoyable.
So while it may not be at the same level as home, and no one greets me at the airport, I’ve done a pretty good job at finding other support systems and activities that have positive experiences and take the sting out of leaving home.
I rather proud of that. And pleased this time the transition is not as hard, or as painful. It just might get a little easier each time as I continue to make a go of it out here.