The sun is actually shining in Vancouver today, with blue sky instead of just patches, or snatches between clouds.
I’ve found myself rather grumpy since returning from Chicago. I’ve been chalking it up to the transition of the joys of being home and around what is familiar to Vancouver where I know no one and little is familiar. I’ve found myself dreading getting up in the morning. Dreading going to the office.
First thought: I’m bored. Incredibly bored.
While #freelancing for the past three years, my days were full of variety. Some days would be hunkered down cranking out content. Other days would be meetings of one sort or another. Still others were a mix. And there was a healthy dose of non-work stuff during the day, too. Babysitting. Running. Coffee. Lunch.
None of that exists in Vancouver. I’ve become an #officedrone and it is killing me. If I’m bored, I’m unproductive.
That much I know, and that much I recognize.
I’ve been in a funk the last 10 days over this, struggling to figure out first, what the problem is: I’m bored. And then: what to do about it. Being an #officedrone doesn’t lend itself to the variety of #freelancing. There’s an expectation of being in the office and all that entails. I was fine with that, but it seems to have worn out its welcome. It’s not new and exciting. It’s not different. It’s routine. It’s boring.
Since it was sunny this morning, I opted to take a different bus that required a walk to the office. Little variety. And it was during the walk that I had an “ah ha” moment.
I was just as miserable the first few months after moving back home.
Granted I had just gotten laid off, and it is incredibly demoralizing to be laid off and have to move back home with your folks when your in your late 20s. Still, those first few months were hard. Really hard. I had grad school to keep me occupied for the last three months of that year, but I knew once graduation came and went, I’d have little to nothing to keep me occupied.
A contract job fell in my lap that ended up taking a year instead of a month.
And as my brain cycled through the time after that, I realized that was it: time.
It took time to develop a comfort level of not having to be somewhere at a specific time every day. Once developed that comfort level, I thoroughly enjoyed it and now find myself missing it. Badly. The freedom to come and go, sit and chill for awhile. Babysit my nephews and niece.
Now that is gone. Boredom has returned and I don’t see myself getting used to being an #officedrone.
If hindsight is always 20/20, then this is rather similar to the first few months being back home after getting laid off. Do enough to get by, keep it together. Just keep moving forward. Something clicked and I embraced the #freelance lifestyle.
I’d like to think that the work environment has progressed enough that being an #officedrone can be avoided, or perhaps reversed so there is a happy medium between that and something akin to the #freelance lifestyle.
Except I don’t think it’s a problem of work. I think it’s a problem of not yet filling the void.
Remember: a healthy dose of non-work stuff during the day.
I have not found that ingredient yet, so being an #officedrone is filling the void. And that must change.
Now what?