Reality is sinking in today, manning the booth on the last day of #AALS12.
Tomorrow morning, I will not be flying home to my own bed. I will merely be passing through my former home city of Chicago on my way to my new “home” of Vancouver. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure what to make of it. I don’t think it’s quite hit me yet, it still seems “off in the distance” even though that distance is quickly closing.
I’m pretty sure once I get there, it’ll be fine. I’ll settle in a little quicker than originally thought, adapt a little quicker than originally thought and actually enjoy myself. Not to say that I haven’t enjoyed myself the past three years. It’s been awesome being so close to family, watching my nephews and niece grow and develop. It’s been such a joy playing such an active role in Little Man’s development. He’s made such strides the past year and keeps making more. It’s been rather inspiring, actually, and being a little bit removed from it now, we’ve kind of grown up in parallel the last two years. We’ve both come out of our shells and learned a lot of new things. It’s time for us to part for a bit, and grow some more.
There is something different about this move, about this startup company. It’s hard to put into words, even for me, so I’m considering it a twist of Fate. As I’ve said before, I’m a big believer in things happening for a reason. I just get annoyed that the reason is never revealed in a quick and timely manner.
The corporate reason for getting laid off was “downsizing.” The life reason, though, and perhaps the real reason, was so I could be close to home and help take care of family.
See what I mean about reasons not being revealed in a quick and timely fashion?
So I don’t know the reason for this position, this move, this new adventure. And you know what? That’s OK. One thing starting and running a consulting company taught me is that you can’t know everything, and spending time trying to figure out everything is a waste of time. With some trial and error, you learn what you must figure out to succeed and what you can just let play out and see what happens.
The Serenity Prayer, really:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
I cannot change getting laid off. I cannot change the economy. I can help my family. I can change my perspective. I can move to where the opportunity currently lies. And it is wisdom gained from the experiences of the last three years that I can now start to tell the difference.
There’s another line, from the movie Shadowlands that comes to mind:
Experience is a brutal teacher. But you learn, by God you learn.
And tomorrow, I make my way to a new country with a whole heck of a lot more experience to gain in order to learn some more.